As the blood courses down my throat, I am careful to feel for the pulse of my victim so that I may stop before it does. The fear that is contained in this life-giving liquid excites me, and it is difficult to pull back, but as the beating under my fingertips fades into near nonexistence, I do just that, dropping the body to the ground with as much care as I dare use and watching the blood pool at the twin puncture holes that I caused. The power is thrilling, to know that if I had taken more, then this girl who now lay in unconsciousness before me would be dead. To be neither living nor dead….

"Red?" Spike's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Hmmm?" I reply, not taking my eyes from the rivulets of red forming patterns on unnaturally pale skin.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Let her live."

"Oh." What am I going to say? I'm sorry, Spike, but you see, I seem to have a soul of some sort, so I can't kill anyone. Well, except maybe murderers and criminals and oh, the guy who always calls during dinner to offer you a credit card even though you've told him that you don't want one the last five times he's called. Or maybe -

"Pet?"

"Wha? Oh yeah, why I didn't kill her. Well, I… I'm full."

"You're full?"

"Yeah. Why, is that unusual?"

"Well, normally no, but you've barely had anything to eat in days, and that girl wouldn't have satisfied the annoying one."

"The Annoying… oh, you mean the Anointed one. Well, I have a slow metabolism."

"Right. No matter." Spike pulled me away from the alley and we walked back towards the mansion. "She'll probably be dead by morning anyway." Dead? Oh, what have I done? "Willow, do you want to handle this, or should I take care of him for you?" I follow his gaze to a figure walking ahead of us. Xander.

"I… I'll handle it, Spike. Just… just wait here for me unless I call for you, okay?" I do not wait for his answer as I begin to walk towards the boy who used to be my best friend. "Xander."

"Willow." He stops when he sees me and starts to turn away.

"Xander, don't do this, please."

"What did we do wrong, Willow? Why couldn't you - "

"I didn't have a choice."

"Yes you did. You didn't have to go to him. You could have told us. You could have told us what was going on even if you did go to him. That way - "

"That way you could have killed me when I rose? Thanks a lot, Xander. I didn't know you cared. I had to do this. I couldn't let him hurt you. He told me he wouldn't, and he hasn't, so far. He said he would take me far away from Sunnydale and he wouldn't lay a hand on any of you. I know this isn't much of a life, but it's all I have. Be honest with me. If I had told you that I was going to become a vampire and that there was nothing you could do to stop it, would you have let me live?"

"Well, we would have - "

"Honestly."

"No, probably not. But we didn't know what to think. First Buffy leaves and then you give us a letter that says that you'll never be seeing us again. It hurt, Willow. It hurt us all."

"I know, Xander, and if I could do it over, I… I don't know what I would have done, but I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry."

"I know, Will, and I'm sorry too. What is it with vampires anyway? First there's Buffy and Angel, and now you and Spike. Cordy would probably be with Jesse if I hadn't…"

"Staked him? Probably, but we don't even want to go there. If you hadn't, then we would probably already both be vampires, and the master would have risen. You can't change the past. Jesse's dead, and I'm some weird vampire with a soul, sometimes. Has Giles found anything?"

"Actually, he thinks he might have. We've all been looking for you. He needs to talk to you as soon as possible. He says your life may depend on it. Of course, he may just be exaggerating. You know how everything is 'end of the world' to him."

"Tell him I'll come to him as soon as I can."

"Where have you been, anyway?"

"Spike wouldn't let me out. There have been some… complications… with my situation."

"Complications? What do you mean? Has he hurt you? If he has, so help me, I'll - "

"Xander, stop. It's nothing like that. He… he's been wonderfully kind to me, really. Well, except for when he locked me in my room, but I deserved it." I look past him and tense as I see the figure approaching us. I told him to wait back there for me.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do, Will, but what - "

"When I let go of you, drop to the ground and pretend to be unconscious." I grab his arms amd pull him close to me.

"Okay, but why?"

"This may sting a little." I lean in and carefully pierce the skin near his collarbone, avoiding any major veins or arteries. Seconds later, I release him without drinking any of the precious fluid. As I asked, he collapses to the ground and remains motionless. I step over him and join Spike as we continue on our way home. "I thought you were going to wait for me back there." He shrugs noncommittally and keeps walking.

"I thought you were full." I shrug and we stroll the rest of the way in silence.