Between Darkness and Light, part 7

By Isis Osiris

I gaze into the mirror at my nonexistent reflection. I'm a vampire. I don't remember dying, or do I? There was a meeting in the cemetery…. Something about a deal. But what was it? I am startled by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I can't see who it is, so I struggle to free myself but am stopped by a low growl by my ear.

"Willow, stop." Spike's voice halts all of my movement, and I stand still, gazing not at our images, but through where they should have been to the back of the room through the cracked glass. "I thought I told you to get some rest."

"You did, Spike, but I--"

"You are going to rest and try to remember while I figure out what has caused this." He lifts me easily in his arms and carries me back to the bed.

"Spike?" This is going to sound so stupid. I can't believe I'm asking him this, but I need to know. I need to just look him in the eye and ask him how--

"Yes, Ducks?" Okay, maybe forget the looking him in the eye part. Maybe if I just stare as the sheets and ask, it'll be easier. I mean it's not that I'm afraid of him or anything, but… I mean, what can he do, kill me? I should not have said that. He could kill me. Or come very close to it, at least. That might be worse. There's a lot of painful stuff that I can live through now, and… He's staring at me. Why is he staring at me? What does he want? "What is it?"

Oh yeah, my question. I drop my head to avoid his piercing gaze. "Well, you see, it's just… It's really nothing, but I was just --"

"Willow." His hand grasps my chin and forced me to meet his eyes with my own. "Look at me when you want to talk to me."

I start to lower my head in submission, but his grip keeps my jaw lifted. I may as well get it over with. "How long have I been a vampire?"

"What?"

"How long have I been dead? I know it's stupid, but I need to know. I need to know how much I've forgotten."

"Nothing you say is ever stupid, Red. You were one of the smartest humans I've ever met, and you make a brilliant vampire. You've been undead since Thursday."

"And today is… Friday?"

"Tuesday."

"Oh. So I'm missing five days, right?"

"It looks that way."

"What about… Are… Have I killed anyone yet?"

"Not yet. You've messed with their minds a bit, but they still have pulses, or so you've said."

"You don't know?"

"Cor, you really don't remember, do you?"

I shake my head slowly. "No. I want to, though. It's just… I don't even know what I'm supposed to remember. I think I remember something, but then I realize that it was either from when I was human, or just made up. Things that could never happen."

"Like what? You'd be amazed at what vampires are capable of."

"We didn't save Camelot from an elephant stampede or use a person as a piñata, did we?"

"Yes, on the piñata, no on the elephants."

"I… you mean… we really… with the pipe and the blood?"

"Yup. Last night. We were discussing it when you… forgot."

"Oh. So, why don't you know who's still alive?"

"I promised you… the human you… that I wouldn't kill them. And I always keep my word. I may be a blood-sucking demon, but I do have standards."

"I remember something about a promise. I remember going to the cemetery and talking to you, but the whole night is kind of a blur. But it doesn't feel like it's missing."

"Missing?"

"Yeah, the other things I remember are fuzzy, too, but they feel like a puzzle that doesn't have all the pieces. This just seems like I'm looking at it through a foggy lens."

"Well, it did happen pretty fast. Now, I brought you back here so you could get some rest, not to play Twenty Questions."

"But I --"

"I know you're trying to remember, but you need to sleep. You were complaining about being tired earlier, so I want you to lay back and at least take a nap. Who knows? It could bloody well be the cure to your memory problem. Meanwhile, I'll see if I can find a cause for this in one of those books in the library. Maybe I'll beat up… I mean *visit* Willy and see what he knows. I'll be back later with someone for you to eat. Now, rest." He pushes me back into the pillows, then stands and crosses to the door. After it closes, I can hear the lock turning. He certainly doesn't intend for me to go out tonight. Well, if it's rest he wants, then that's what I'll get. I stare at the ceiling as if it were the night sky and I could count the stars. It's going to be a long night.